hoping for pigless dreams

I'm all of a sudden in the mood of writing in Swedish. Which, I can promise you, never happens. I just think everything sounds so much better in english, it just flows better. I even think that books and essays sound phony. Just reading the newspaper makes me laugh! But since I'm in that 'mood' today, I'm probably going to stumble on to some path where my english will go crazy. Good luck to me!

Hectic day! I became very popular, had a lot people that texted me for some reason and wanted to meet up. I didn't have the time see them all, but I tried my best. I was at IHGR again (surprise surprise, I'm there so often) but this time I was there cause Matt, Mahsa and Nils were there visiting. Matt lives in the US and Mahsa and Nils (the engaged couple) live in Australia! It's been about 1 or 2 years since I last saw them. There visiting here for a while, so I'm hoping to see them again!

Then I met a friend that also dated my ex boyfriend but before me. It's funny how we've got so much in common, we're very alike both personality wise and looks. And every time we meet, we always end up talking about boys and Thailand. It's natural. She'd recently been there, so she told me everything about it and it was nostalgic hearing it all. I just really feel like going there, it's like my second home. And I would definitely deserve being there. It' been 2 years since last time...


Last but not least. The crush. My friend, Maria, got to meet him for a second or so before she left and me and him left together. And it was great. I was so nervous before, I was shaking so much I could barely talk cause my mouth was shaking too. Aah, it was crazy. But I seemed to have calmed down as soon as we met and sat down at a café.

We sat there talking for about more than 2 hours, about everything and nothing. It never felt awkward or like one of us were talking way more the other. It felt natural in its own way. But. Yea, here it comes. The But. Could there be more? We took the bus home together cause that's what we do (haha) and I hoping for a more intimate time since we'd be sitting closer to eachother. But somehow when I'm around him I don't think 'intimate'. I don't think 'FLIRT!'. I don't think at all, I just end up being myself. Which is the main reason why I like him.

But that's where it's all so problematic. I will never be able to let him know what's going on in my mind. And I don't want to take that risk asking him what he thinks because that could ruin our friendship if his thoughts are negative. I rather be friends with him than nothing or even worse, have the most awkward friendship ever. Where does this lead?

Hey, I'm a girl. This is what we do. Overanalyse. Think too much!

I'm home alone and I don't think our TV works. I have basically nothing to do but to start thinking of christmas presents! It's a week left...